Have you ever dreamed about having sex with your boss? Or a co-worker? Maybe a friend? Or even an ex? Well, if the answer’s yes, you’re not alone – and quite aside from being strange, unexpected, amusing or even shocking, dreams like this can carry important messages.
However, it’s not always easy to understand the message the dream brings – so in this post, we discuss sexual dream meaning to help you interpret what you experienced.
Are sex dreams about sex?
Before we talk about how to interpret a steamy episode you experienced while you slept, we need to take a step back and think about a fundamental question – are sex dreams really about sex?
And the answer is…yes and no.
When we dream, what we see or experience is often metaphorical, so our dreams shouldn’t be interpreted literally. For example, if we dream of falling, it doesn’t mean we are afraid of falling, it is about something else.
And when it comes to sex dreams, the same is true…usually.
Normally, when we dream about having sex with someone, it rarely means we want to have intimate relations with that person in real life, and the correct interpretation is more symbolic.
That said, it is also possible to have sex dreams that are more directly related to sex, as we shall see in a moment, so now let’s move on to thinking about how to interpret dreams about sex.
How to interpret sexual dreams
Here are some of the most common types of sex dreams you can have – along with how you might interpret them.
Sex with your boss – you want a quality they have
If you dream of having sex with your boss, you might find the whole experience a little bewildering and possibly more than just a little weird, but the first thing to know is that it’s not an uncommon dream to have.
And the second thing to know is that it probably doesn’t mean you secretly have a crush on your boss. Rather, it is about a characteristic that your boss has that you would also like to share.
For example, you might appreciate your boss for their work ethic, their fair treatment of the staff or perhaps their charismatic personality.
In any case, try to analyze what it is about your boss that you admire and ask yourself if it’s a trait you’d also like to gain – and then possibly work at emulating your boss to see if you can learn how to act more like them.
Incidentally, since this dream has nothing to do with sex, the gender of your boss is not really relevant – so don’t be too upset if you dream about having sex with a boss who doesn’t happen to belong to the gender you normally go for!
Sex with your boss – you want to connect with them
Another possibility if you dream about having sex with your boss is that you want to make a stronger connection with them.
This could be because you are looking for more responsibilities or a promotion, or it could be because you see them as a valuable person to know and are looking to expand your network.
However, as with the previous interpretation, this dream is unlikely to have anything to do with sex – so if you were a bit weirded out by the whole experience, you can breathe easy!
Sex with your friend – you want a deeper connection
Another strange dream to experience is one where you have sex with your friend, although again, the dream is unlikely to be related to a desire to sleep with them in real life.
Sex dreams are often about making connections with people, with the physical connection in the dream symbolizing a more mental, intellectual or spiritual connection in the real world.
However, having this dream may help you realize you want your relationship with this person to grow and deepen in a non-sexual way – so you can begin nurturing the relationship more actively than you might previously have been doing.
Sex with your co-worker – you want to find common ground
Sex with a co-worker is another intriguing dream that you might find horrifying, amusing or even quite enjoyable, depending on the person in question.
Of course, a dream like this really could mean you are attracted to them, in which case you’ll either know or the dream will help you realize.
However, a more likely explanation is that you would like to find common ground with the co-worker to help you work more effectively together as a team.
Cheating on your partner – you are spending too much time on something else
Cheating on your partner, even in a dream, can be upsetting, especially if you are in a loving and faithful relationship.
However, the chances are that the dream doesn’t mean you want to cheat on them in real life.
Instead, one possible way to interpret the dream is that you are spending too much time on something else in your life, which means you might be neglecting them.
If you have a dream like this, spend time considering the implications and whether you haven’t been paying enough attention to your partner of late.
Maybe you have been too busy at work, or you might even be spending all your time on some kind of new hobby you’ve just taken up. Then, if this seems to ring true, you might consider making time for your relationship too – before things start to deteriorate for real.
On the other hand, a dream such as this could mean that you really are unsatisfied with your sex life and are thinking about looking elsewhere, even if only on a subconscious level.
In this case, the best solution is to have a conversation with your partner. You should gently explain that your needs are not being met – and this should head off any desire you might feel to sleep with somebody else.
Sex in public – self-consciousness or self-confidence
Sex in public is another dream that might upset you or amuse you, depending on your personality – and the interpretation of the dream can also depend on how you felt about the episode while you were dreaming.
If you felt self-conscious and were upset by all the perceived eyes watching you, then the dream probably means that you are self-conscious in your waking life and are overly worried about what other people think of you.
On the other hand, if you felt fine with the experience of other people seeing you in such an intimate moment, it probably means you are self-confident and happy in your skin.
Sex with a celebrity – you admire their lifestyle
Another common dream about sex is when you dream of sleeping with somebody famous, and the interpretation here is similar to when you dream of having sex with your boss.
In other words, it probably means you admire something about the celebrity you dreamed of, and you wish you could have the same things they have.
For example, you might think the celebrity has a particularly magnetic personality or a natural ease around other people, something you would also like to have yourself.
Alternatively, it could be that you like the idea of the way the celebrity lives their life, with all the fame and riches that go with it – and you’d like a bit of the same too.
Of course, it’s also possible that you are attracted to the celebrity in real life, in which case you can probably just enjoy the dream and not worry too much about any deeper meanings behind it!
Sex with your ex – you are adapting to a new partner
Sex dreams involving an ex can be disturbing or upsetting, especially when you have recently started a relationship with somebody new – but often it is just when people get into a new relationship that they tend to dream about their ex.
One interpretation is that you’re subconsciously comparing your new partner with your ex, something that’s quite normal, and this is causing your ex to appear in your dreams.
Alternatively, depending on how your previous relationship ended, it could be that you are feeling insecure about your new relationship and are worried about being hurt again.
Sex with your ex – you are still upset about how the relationship ended
Another interpretation of a sex dream about an ex is that you were unhappy about how the relationship ended and you never found closure. As a result, your ex could be appearing in your dream in this way as part of your mind’s effort to deal with what happened.
Finally, it is possible that you are just having a sex dream because you are currently without a partner and are unhappy with your sex life – or lack of one.
Usually, dreams take a little bit of lateral thinking to interpret – but at times like this, they can also be more straightforward to understand.
Rarely about sex – and worth trying to decipher
Sexual dreams are only rarely directly related to sex, but they often carry important messages, so it’s worth taking the time to decipher them.
To do this, apply what happened in your dream to your current life situation and the challenges or relationship issues you are currently facing. Then, by following your intuition, you will be led to the correct understanding of what you saw.